A Special Someday?

I have had the following essay for a while and I'm sure that many of you have also read it before. I enjoy reading it from time to time as a reminder to myself to cherish each day and the people in my life. It was written by Ann Wells about loss and cherishing each day. Wells, 76, at the time, wrote the essay a couple of years after her sister unexpectedly died, and several years before she would lose her husband. Wells, a retired secretary and occasional freelancer, first published the essay in April 1985. It is touching to me because I had a Grandmother who had pretty things but never used them. She and my Grandfather were farmers who never had alot of money. She made money by babysitting her grandchildren and selling butter that she churned. To get pretty things she would save S&H green stamps that she received each week from the grocery store. She would always have a current S&H catalog and would choose something she wanted and save her stamps until she had enough to get it. However, once she had the item she would put it away and save it. She was afraid it would be broken by the many grandchildren that she looked after. She had a heart attack and died when she was 58 years old and her special items were divided amongst her daughters and daughter-in-laws. Many of the pretty things that she loved and cared about were thrown away or not cared for. I have a few of her special items that my mom has given me and I value them but I also use them. I wish that she had.

What Special Someday Are We Saving For?

By ANN WELLS

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister’s bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. “This,” he said, “is not a slip. This is lingerie.” He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite: silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. “Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least eight or nine years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion.” He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment. Then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
“Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you’re alive is a special occasion.” I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister’s family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn’t seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.
I’m still thinking about his words, and they’ve changed my life.

I’m reading more and dusting less. I’m sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I’m spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not endure. I’m trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I’m not “saving” anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event–such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for a small bag of groceries without wincing.
I’m not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends. “Someday” and “one of these days” are fighting a losing battle to stay in my vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I’m not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn’t be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I’m guessing–I’ll never know. It’s those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with–someday. Angry because I hadn’t written certain letters that I intended to write–one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn’t tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I’m trying very hard not to put off, hold back or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes I tell myself that this is a special occasion. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God. Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

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